**Warning** This post deals with the heavy topic of miscarriage, so please proceed with caution. It is not my intent to trigger anyone, I simply want to allow myself to be vulnerable and share my story in the hopes that it will resonate with someone and help <3 Love y’all.
Raise your hand if you’re going through something RIGHT NOW.
A lot of us are, and it sucks.
I’m going through my own battles as well, I’m not above challenges… in fact you’d be surprised at just how much my family has overcome since this pandemic hit.
In my own life – we haven’t spoken about this publicly yet, so I guess this is how you’ll hear – in May, we miscarried our baby. As if a miscarriage isn’t hard enough, it happened during a pandemic – something that has kept us from seeing any loved ones for MONTHS.
Imagine, going in for an ultrasound alone for a check up and walking out knowing your baby stopped growing.
My body had “failed” me.
Having to keep a straight face getting into my car with my child inside because I couldn’t have anyone watch him. Figuring out how to signal to the husband to not ask the question “how did it go” in front of our 5 year old – and husband doesn’t take hints very well… (For those who don’t know me yet, why I didn’t just drive myself….I don’t drive in certain cities because pedestrians give me anxiety lol and to be frank, I don’t think it would have been safe for me to drive that day.)
Imagine going through that without being able to hug your mom, your sister, your best friend, anyone!? Yes, I have my husband and I am SO thankful for him. But in times like these, all you wanna do is crumble into your mommy’s arms for her to stroke your hair and tell you “everything is gonna be alright, baby doll”.
Thank goodness for community and social media. Without it, I don’t know how I would have survived. Losing my baby destroyed me down to my soul. But thankfully, I had you. I had all my friends, and mentors, and family to help hold me up when I couldn’t stand on my own.
It’s been difficult, and I’ve been debating on opening up about it for a while now, but none of it felt right. I felt like if I opened up, I wouldn’t say it right. I’d say too much or too little. I would be exposed to the world. I’d be required to answer questions & I wouldn’t be strong enough to do it.
I was scared to open up.
One thing I’ve learned is that, someday, the things that get one person through will help the next.
So many of us are struggling right now, whether it be financially, emotionally, physically, in our lives, our jobs, our marriages, families, friendships… and no one struggle is harder than the other. We are all getting by right now, and that’s ok.
I urge you – don’t let yourself forget what got you through this time.
Journal, send yourself voice memos if you have to. But please, do not forget the play by play to your survival – to your victory.
The story you’re living today will become someone else’s survival guide.
Can you think of a time when someone gave you solid advice based on their life experiences?
Can you remember how much of an impact that had on you? How much that piece of advice influenced your decisions involving that thing?
Now, can you picture where you think you’d be if you hadn’t received that advice?
Never underestimate the value of your story.
Some people require their own experiences to learn something (YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE!!!) The ones who HAD to touch the stove to figure out it was hot…I’m lookin’ at YOU right now LOL!
Others prefer to learn from others experiences.
Which one are you?
Either way, your knowledge can be passed on, the watchers will learn directly from you, the doers will do anyways,and when they do, your words will resonate differently with them.
Isn’t it so cool that somebody out there someday will be waiting to hear your story? Somehow, some way, your story can help make a difference in their life for the better. HOW FREAKING COOL IS THAT!?
Don’t be afraid to share how you overcame your divorce, your miscarriage, or how you made $13 stretch for 2 weeks, or how you had to learn how to remove chipmunks from your dryer hose, or WHATEVER!
Allow yourself to be vulnerable.
Share your story.